It was a damn fucking boring day yesterday

Today was so much better

Emotional. Pissed off. Upset. Confused. Yesterday

Balled today with tai zi, priya and abel

Oh, I miss them so so very very goddammit much

I missed the sec 4 days before all the troubles started

I missed the ballers so much

I miss the maris stella guy, I miss the ah bengs at west cc even though Idk their names, I miss darma, aidan, fitri, abel, winsheng, aaron, marvin, tai, priya, shum, shar ..

I missed the way we were in sec school

I wished things didnt change

I really wish I can turn back time to sec 4 period where we all balled like mad from morning till night everyday

swearing that our marriage will be at the bball court

Playing in the rain

Studying at the Cafe there

I wished I didnt know him

I really miss my old lifestyle so damn badly

When I met up with them today

I felt like hugging them so tightly

Not letting them go

Its hard to meet nowadays

Not just generation gap

Its just .. Everyone's getting busy

But we'll meet up again right

We will ..

I prefer my life on court than going to clubs or town

I prefer spending my life 24/7 on court than dating

I prefer the way "they" used to treat me before things changed

I wished time could turn back

to the time where I will show everyone my million dollar smile all the time

Where we made a fool out of ourselves and laughed so damn loudly

But now

Its always sadness and more sadness

Unwillingness

Unhappiness

All I want is fun and more fun

I don't wish to have a barrier around me

The nights are still as miserable

Regret

I fucking hate myself so damn much

I regret so so much

I feel so remorseful now

/Somebody, help me